I Caught My Brain Lying to Me This Morning
This morning, I was making coffee, feeding the dog, and checking to see whether there were any showings scheduled for our house.
Just another ordinary morning.
Somewhere between grabbing the coffee creamer from the refrigerator and looking at my calendar, my brain quietly whispered:
Maybe you should check LinkedIn and see if there’s a cool new J-O-B.
Then it doubled down.
You know what else we should do? Maybe blow up the career you’ve spent seven years building.
I shook my head and smiled. Not because it was a ridiculous thought, but because I recognized it.
Over the past few weeks, I had been selling a house, preparing to move to another state, helping care for aging parents, hosting family, rebuilding my speaking business, and juggling all the normal responsibilities of life.
Apparently, my brain looked at that list and thought:
You know what would make this easier? A complete career change!
Our brains are funny that way. Not HAHA funny - Peculiar.
They don’t like uncertainty. They don’t like unanswered questions. And when life feels full or unpredictable, they start looking for certainty anywhere they can find it—even when the solution they’re proposing doesn’t make much sense.
So, when my brain quietly whispered, This isn’t going to work, I recognized what was happening.
None of it was a fact.
It was a story my brain was creating.
That is one of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned from studying neuroscience and Stoic philosophy: our thoughts aren’t facts.
They are predictions. Stories. Interpretations.
Our brains are wired to protect us, not necessarily to tell us the truth. When life feels uncertain, they start searching for certainty. Sometimes they find it. Sometimes they simply invent it.
Why Mindset Really Does Matter
Mindset is everything.
Not because positive thinking magically changes your circumstances. It doesn’t.
Mindset matters because the way you think changes the way you respond to your circumstances.
I’ve spent years telling audiences that they have more control over their lives than they think. In fact, I believe you have more influence over your life than anyone else. Yep! Not your boss, your spouse, the markets, or whoever happens to be president.
Every day, you make choices about how you think.
Those thoughts influence how you feel.
How you act.
Whether you take the next step or stay stuck.
That isn’t toxic positivity. It’s responsibility.
The Stoics taught us to focus our energy on what we can control instead of exhausting ourselves over what we can’t.
At that moment, I couldn’t control when someone would buy my house.
I couldn’t control when the next speaking inquiry would arrive.
I couldn’t control the economy.
But I could control whether I allowed one fearful thought to send me down a rabbit hole of self-doubt.
So, instead of opening LinkedIn to search for jobs, I poured my coffee and got back to the work that actually mattered.
A few outreach emails. A phone call. A conversation.
The small things that move my business, and my life, forward.
Your Thoughts Don’t Automatically Get a Vote
I’ve gotten better at realizing that just because my brain has a thought doesn’t mean I have to give it a vote.
You have more influence over your life than you think. I say that from the stage every time I speak.
You can’t control everything that happens. But you have more influence than anyone else over the story you tell yourself about what happens.
And that story shapes everything that comes next.
So, when your brain whispers something discouraging today, pause.
Question it.
Ask yourself:
Is this a fact, or is it just a story my brain is telling me?
Because the most important conversation you’ll have today isn’t with your boss, your spouse, your clients, or your coworkers.
The most important conversation you’ll have today is the one inside your own head.