What If You Had To Force-Rank Your Life?

Who remembers the 2008 recession era, when companies everywhere were shrinking, restructuring, and trying to survive?

I do. As a leader in our company, I was asked to force rank my people. It was a strange and uncomfortable process… having to think about who you couldn’t live without, who was the “most valuable” to the bottom line, the long-term success of the company, and our ability to survive and keep growing with a smaller headcount.

I had hired most of the people I was looking at on that spreadsheet.

I liked to think I was helping them build careers. Some were further along than others. Some were still learning or finding their way. But I wanted to keep them all. I wanted them all to succeed. In my mind, I could see how each person fit into the puzzle of our business.

It was a horrible exercise in mental gymnastics, trying to determine what mattered most right now… and for the long haul. Knowing something had to give.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about that process as I talk with individuals and organizations about lifetime success. Figuring out what matters now, while things feel stressful and uncertain and are changing so fast across so many industries. Especially in tech, where AI is reshaping the future in real time.

What is “most important” in your life right now? What can’t you live without?

Force ranking exposes values. Not because we want to choose… but because pressure reveals priorities.

I say from the stage, “How we handle CHANGE directly affects our health, happiness, and success.” It rolls off my tongue as naturally as saying my name.

But what if I actually had to force rank those three?

Health.
Happiness.
Success.

Would I put them in that order? Would you?

And if we had to force rank the people in our lives… who could we live without? That’s a horrible phrase. Let’s say - Who have we been unintentionally taking for granted?

I don’t even like thinking about it. I want all three. Health, Happiness and Success. And I want all of my people!

But maybe there’s value in doing the uncomfortable mental work anyway.

Not because life fits neatly into categories… but because it forces us to think about priorities in both the short game and the long game.

I don’t know the right answer. You could argue that health creates happiness. Or that happiness improves health. Or that success gives us better opportunities to care for ourselves and the people we love. You could also argue that sometimes health becomes the casualty of success. They’re all connected.

People love to argue about - there’s no such thing as a perfect work-life balance.

At this point, after many decades of work and multiple careers, I know - Work and Life aren’t completely separate things. There are seasons when work requires more from us, when we work long hours to build something meaningful, support our families, or create opportunities for the future.

Life has some yin and yang to it. Give and take. Push and pull. Each part affects the others.

As my career has evolved from television… to tech… to author and speaker… my health, happiness, and success have each taken the lead at different times. Each had a season to be the priority. But all of them remained important. Vital to a successful lifetime.

Life is dynamic.
Seasons change.
Priorities shift.

But ignoring any one of these - health, happiness, or success - for too long, eventually costs us.

There’s a strong undercurrent right now that shows happiness as opting out. I see it everywhere. People on social media - romanticizing going off the grid, quitting the corporate world, rejecting ambition, living only for the moment, or building a life with as few obligations as possible.

I understand the appeal. It’s easy to see why that mindset is gaining traction. I worry that mindset may hurt us in the long run,

Gallup reports employee engagement remains a serious global issue, with only about 20% of employees worldwide feeling engaged at work.

I see it every week. In prep calls before speaking engagements, leaders often tell me - Their people are exhausted. Overwhelmed. Burned out… they are worried about attrition. They are aware.

Leaders are feeling it too. They’re trying to navigate constant change, economic pressure, workforce expectations, and now AI is changing the game in real time.

So yes… escape can start to look like wisdom. But I don’t believe the answer is for everyone to walk away from work, ambition, responsibility, or challenge.

Work has always been an important part of the human experience. Meaningful work gives us purpose beyond ourselves. It gives us growth, contribution, challenge, identity, and connection.

The problem isn’t work itself. The problem is when work becomes so consuming that it quietly erodes our health, our happiness, our relationships, and eventually we question our ability to sustain success over time.

That’s why I don’t talk about resilience as “just push through.” Or just ‘get back up and keep going’. I talk about resilience as learning how to stay in the game in a healthier, more intentional way. How to build the mental and emotional muscles that modern life requires.

Because success matters.

Health matters.

Happiness matters.

And the goal is not to escape the life we’ve built.

The goal is to build one we can actually sustain.

I think meaningful work, and yes - even demanding work, can be one of the most fulfilling parts of life. Success feels good. Growth feels good. Contribution feels good. Helping others feels good.

I don’t have all the answers. I could be wrong. (but I don’t think so)

I do have 5 good questions worth asking yourself:

• What am I prioritizing right now - and is it helping me build the life I actually want long term?

• What feels urgent in this season, but may not actually be important?

• What have I been sacrificing - my health, happiness, relationships, in the name of success? And is that trade still worth it?

• Who or what am I unintentionally taking for granted because I assume it will always be there?

• If I zoom out and look at my whole lifetime, not just this stressful season - what deserves more of my attention right now?

Maybe the point isn’t to perfectly rank the pieces of our lives.

Maybe the point is simply to pause long enough to notice what needs our attention in this season… and what we can’t afford to neglect for the long haul.

And unlike a spreadsheet at work… a meaningful life can’t really be reduced to rankings. Because we only get one big, messy, marvelous life.

Some seasons require different priorities.